Chapter 6: Pointless Illusion

Your eyes may deceive you. Things are not always what they seem. Take a look... Are you watching closely?

Its has been almost 3 months and it felt like we know each other for a long time. It is weird na masaya ako pagkasama siya pero at the same time I can feel the pain which is caused by the though that we are not meant to be. I tried to move on and she tried to put me away. But then suddenly we found ourselves doing the same old thing.

There are times na sumakit na talaga ang ulo ko dahil sa worries na binibigay nya sakin. Pero why do I stick with her. Paano ako nakakatiis? Is it because of the thought na mahirap maghanap ng katulad nya? Eh halos sya na nga talaga yung hinahanap ko, kaso, parang mali eh... first of all the age gap, second she's falling inlove with someone who she barely sees. Nakakainis! ako naman yung lagi nyang kasama at ako yung nakakatiis sa mga bagay na alam ko eh susukuan ng iba. I love her? Hanggang kelan? I told her that someday hindi na kami magkikita, possibleng after a few months or next year pa. Something tells me na nagaaksaya ako ng panahon sa bagay na hindi naman mangyayari.

What is moving on? Paano un? Isa lang ang naisip ko na bagay na makapaghihiwalay samin– remove my memory of her at ilayo siya sakin permanently. Gaano kalayo bago ko yung gusto ko para makalimutan sya? Hmm.. ibang planeta. Pero, teka... kaya ko ba talaga? Eh bakit isang araw lang na hindi sya magtext eh 'di ko na matiis?

Paano nga ba kung mangyari na yung gusto niyang mangyari? Well, I think I want may things returned to me, lahat ng hiniram nya. Then, maybe i'll change my number. Pero paano un? halos every week din kami magkikita? hmm.. di ko alam. Lalayo na ba talaga ko? My role can be replaced by someone better, kung papayag siya.

Walang kapupuntahan tong sinasabi ko. Naiinis ako sa mga nangyayari. The clock will soon to turn to the time na wala na ang lahat. Can someone slap me hard on the face! I wanna wake up...

Someone made an arrangement to be acquainted with me. I agreed, because its no big deal. I don't wanna expect anything because I am really tired of expectations. In case that this turns to a good friendship I have a new friend. But how about beyond friendship? I don't know.. we will see...